Feeling better

It was a good day. I'm feeling better about a lot of things. A good night of sleep helped me to put things into perspective and I'm feeling more stable today. Got some observations in at the clinic, am making headway on my Dad's scarf, and got new wiper blades for the trip home. Even made scones tonight. Sure, it sucks being lonely but it is better than staying in a relationship that tore me down more than it lifted me up. Hit a wall yesterday and finally acknowledged that I miss my ex. I miss the companionship - hell, we talked several times a day on the telephone. Even though he lived an hour away he was my near constant companion. It is strange to be single again. Matters are complicated by the strange relationship limbo that I am in with the MIB. I don't know what I want and I am pretty sure that he is equally clueless. Things would be different if we shared the same zipcode...but we don't and I don't know when that will become a reality. The thing is thinking about the MIB has allowed me to ignore the whole dating after the break-up issue. Wouldn't know how to go about dating at this point. Carrie and her gal pals made it look so easy on sex and the city. Go out for a martini and bat your eyelashes. To be honest that isn't my scene, and although I realize that you have to put yourself out there to meet people sitting at home and watching a movie is infinitely easier.
Speaking of the MIB...I know we both realize that trying to start a relationship now would be counterproductive. I'm not looking to get into another serious relationship with anyone right now and he has said much the same. I'm not asking him to wait patiently for me. That said it is hard to be objective when you care very much about someone. I don't begrudge him the opportunity to go out and meet girls - I just don't think I could handle hearing about them. All of this is conjecture at this point and thinking about it won't get me anywhere. I'm going to practice letting go and trusting the universe. I look forward to Thursday and after that....the future is wide open.